Author: chette

I immediately felt the effects of being a widow. The simplest things would rip my heart into pieces: Checking “widow” for the first time when I had to state my civil status Writing only my name beside “From” when giving gifts Being the one to drive the car while someone else would sit & play…

It's been almost a year since Jim died. I did a lot of staring into space. A lot of crying. A lot of sleeping. I did a lot of reading about near death experiences. I also started slowly veering away from Catholicism. Started meditating. Exploring other beliefs. Seriously contemplated on seeing spirit mediums so I…

  Dearest God, Thank you for creating such a wonderful human being in Jim. He would help anyone, even those he remotely knew, whether they were students, Uber drivers, budding developers, aspiring musicians, members of the press, presidents or CEOs. And he would help them with anything — whether they merely wanted help with their…

  Mahirap pala mawalan ng asawa. The heavy physical feeling is still there. It hits the moment I wake up. Now it’s a mixture of extreme sadness & fear. Fear of what, I still have no idea. I dread waking up in the middle of the night bec of this. They say focusing on the…

Today, we put up photos of Jim in the condo. I was surprised with the baby’s reaction. She smiled, screamed in delight, and wanted to touch all the photos. I said “Daddy” and she laughed again. Maybe she knows, maybe she doesn’t. But I know. And it’s oh-so-painful. I miss you babe. So so much.

This morning while we were in Burgos Circle, I prayed for a sign that Jim was okay, that he truly is in a better place. Later in the day, we went to Fully Booked for Gabby’s birthday. Gabby grabbed a book at random and handed it to me. The title was “Heaven Is Real.” Maybe…

What haunts me most is the thought that Jim is not okay. How can I know? Is he feeling sadness? Is he really in a better place? I googled “proof of after life” to get some sort of reassurance. Visiting the office was hard. Memories of Jim is very strong there. But friends and officemates…

For carrying my bags For buying me food whenever I’m hungry For driving for me, anywhere For listening to me For making my mango shake For accompanying me when I don’t have anyone to eat with For hugging me when I ask you to For feeding the baby so I’ll get some sleep For doing…

  Thank you for your visits, the flowers, mass cards, your messages, your kind words, your hugs … There are no words to express our gratitude. Thank you to our friends, relatives, former classmates, and officemates who were all there to comfort us in our time of grief, to the class of 83 who shared…