Mr. Macho

Once upon a time, or rather, once so many a time, Chette had a conversation with Mr. Macho.

Chette: Do you happen to have a copy of Document 1?
Mr. Macho: Why do you need Document 1?

Chette: I need to track the revisions made in Document 2.
Mr. Macho: Just use Document 2. It’s practically the same thing as Document 1.

Chette: I already have Document 2. I need Document 1.
Mr. Macho: You can figure out the revisions thru Document 2.

Chette: I need Document 1. Meron ka ba or wala?
Mr. Macho: Wala eh.

At least one every couple of weeks, I usually scout around for a specific software or hardware (aliased as “document”) for certain testing projects.

Thankfully, this task doesn’t take a lot of physical work, as it is usually done by contacting friends and acquaintances thru text messaging, or the more convenient instant messenger.

But it never fails: There is always some wiseguy (“Mr. Macho”) who would make me undergo the The Interview.

This is when Mr. Macho would subject me to a series of questions about why I need the specific software, if I actually believe it will fulfill my needs, and the justifications for my “choice.”

Oddly enough, Mr. Macho is not easily content with straightforward answers, and I would be lured to the next step: The Debate.

Mr. Macho will now rattle off his recommended alternatives, and why they are much better than what I am actually looking for — stopping short of giving a detailed SWOT analysis. If I’m not careful – meaning, I take the bait and argue with him point by point – this can be a long one.

The conversation usually ends with me reiterating my request (“Do you have it or not?”) and him finally answering the question.

My male friends say it’s a "guy thing." Some still think they are so macho that they need to show off their knowledge, and the female species just don’t know what they really want, much less the difference between an IDE and a jumper.

But I’m a nice person. Maybe this is just their way of telling me they don’t have what I am looking for, but they have something similar — and would I rather use it instead?

The problem is, it’s just happening a little bit too often. And, if you’re regularly multitasking a hundred things, the conversation is a time waster and a monstrous annoyance.

To the Mr. Machos of the world: I don’t care if you see me as a doe-eyed giggling fluffy human being. I know what I want. And if ever I need your advice, I won’t hesitate to ask for it.

Just give me my SATA cables, damnit.